I get lonely sometimes so I posted an ad online. It read, "SPM with awesome black hair seeking SPL for companionship and adventure." For those who don't know, SPM stands for single plastic man and SPL stands for single plastic lady. The first lady I met in person arrived in a wedding gown. That was the first red flag.
The second red flag: As we were talking, her head suddenly came tumbling down and knocked me off my feet.
The third red flag: Her head moved on its own and chased after me. Scary! I ran away fast.
That night I added to my ad, "Prefer someone without a loose head."
She is too big compared to you any way. She'd squash you in no time!
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