Putting on my surgeon's hat

I volunteered to perform the open heart surgery that this thing needed since everyone else refused.  I guess I really can't blame them.  The thing was fantastically hideous. 



It already looked half-dead so I didn't worry about whether it would feel pain before I performed the surgery.   



I didn't anesthetize it first.  I didn't have scrubs.  I didn't even wash my hands. 



And I'm pretty sure the sword I used in place of a scalpel wasn't sterilized.  Oh, well.  I didn't stay to see if it survived the surgery.